How can parents make their toddler more open when the preschooler seems unwilling to talk? Here are few things mantain please keep in mind and to try.
Note: Although this article is intended for parents of preschool children, some ideas may be applied to both older and younger children.
Short Memories
The first thing to remember is that your child may tell the whole truth when his answer to your question is, "I don't remember." Kindergarten children are still developing their working memory, and that process is different for every child. Instead of asking too many questions and expecting them to know the answer, ask for specific ones to help them remember the memory. (More on that later.) It is very likely that the memory is actually gone, though. Accept it and move on.
Give them a moment
Don't you like the little rest time just after you get home from work? Children are no different. Whether it's bedtime, frustration, or the pressure to go back to school, not having the time to change may be the main reason why there are so many emotions. Changes can also cause a child to be skeptical or unable to talk about his or her day. If their brains do not yet have the opportunity to move from “I am in school” to “I have a family,” asking them questions can quickly block their thinking. Pair that with their developing language skills, and it's really no surprise that their response to what they did today is, "Nothing."
So let them rest after school. Let them eat, read a book, and feel like they have a little bit of control over their land. Then ask about their day.
Three Tips for Parents
To help our kids overcome the difficulty of short-term memory and the need for change, here are three strategies you can use when trying to find out more about your kindergarten day.
Ask for Action - Sometimes it is easy to talk to someone (especially an official, such as a parent) when other things are going on. Take note of times when your child is ready to answer questions. Use activities such as coloring, walking, driving, or bathing, as a way to learn about your kindergarten day. Make sure you try a few options. One child may want to talk about dinner, but another child may feel called out and shout when everyone stops to look at him.
Ask Specific Questions - "How was your day?" such a broad question, we should not be surprised when children answer with a broader word, "Good." Ask specific questions about the specific people and there activities. If your child's preschool provides you with a social networking site or mobile app like LuvNotes, take a minute to review the reviews and photos of your child participating in activities and use them to guide your child's questions. Pediatric mental health professional Sean Nixon raises four questions to follow.
"Tell me about something that make you laugh today."
"Tell me about your grief today."
"Tell me about something you were angry about today."
“Tell me about what you learned today.”
Don't Do "Friendly Inquiries" - Your intentions to ask a lot of questions about your child's day are obviously good. Want to hear about their day! But asking too many questions too quickly and getting into “trouble solving” can make your child feel like this